It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
