just come out here and I will go home with you...
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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