Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize