Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
