i can't believe i had my finger in that
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
