You made me cry and you don't even care
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
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