Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
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obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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