I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
