I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
this hospital has no fireball
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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