So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
