So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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