Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
