i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
