hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
