And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
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If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
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It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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