Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
