toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
