i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
