i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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