why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
