Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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