I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
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Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
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We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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