My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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