Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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