is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
