I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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