You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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