By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize