come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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