no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
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He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
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