You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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