It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize