Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
