Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
