What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize