i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
