good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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