well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
