Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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