Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
