I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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