I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
