Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he shaved USA in his pubs
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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