Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  My friends, they love my intelligence

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  (303): My friends, they love my intelligence http://tfl.nu/tu5a
  Replies (2) Good night (1115) Bad night (557)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha

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  (202): I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha http://tfl.nu/h2dn
  Replies (5) Good night (685) Bad night (4772)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.

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  (817): Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3. http://tfl.nu/dq7j
  Replies (40) Good night (608) Bad night (5297)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters

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  (949): the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters http://tfl.nu/l7fh
  Replies (39) Good night (4907) Bad night (891)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.

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  (517): just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder. http://tfl.nu/xinc
  Replies (27) Good night (1354) Bad night (4787)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.

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  (253): Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser. http://tfl.nu/y4fk
  Replies (16) Good night (5681) Bad night (1349)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...

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  (480): She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight... http://tfl.nu/8zew
  Replies (1) Good night (3265) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.

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  (575): She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on. http://tfl.nu/epik
  Replies (2) Good night (1679) Bad night (529)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  This is love.

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?

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  (413): This is love. (860): Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party? http://tfl.nu/8lic
  Replies (3) Good night (1376) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan

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  (631): he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan http://tfl.nu/sol0
  Replies (19) Good night (1842) Bad night (804)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before

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  (316): I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before http://tfl.nu/ozt9
  Replies (24) Good night (500) Bad night (1781)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.

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  (+44): Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me. http://tfl.nu/v4al
  Replies (3) Good night (1082) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.

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  (614): The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception. http://tfl.nu/6prr
  Replies (7) Good night (847) Bad night (278)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka

  (714): View more from California

  I could

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  (805): I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka (714): I could http://tfl.nu/hbcr
  Replies (7) Good night (940) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.

  (313): View more from Michigan

  No promises

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  (248): Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year. (313): No promises http://tfl.nu/55qj
  Replies (2) Good night (518) Bad night (271)

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