Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".