ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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