I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
