If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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