Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
