hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize