i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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