What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize