yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
