Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS