JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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