Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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