you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
