I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Randomize
