i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
