Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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