Say something about gay babies.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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