Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
