i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
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I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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