Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was