David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!