Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.