Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself

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(433): View more from

There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?

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(440): View more from Ohio

Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(925): View more from California

We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous

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(416): View more from Toronto

Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career

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(409): View more from Texas

There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.

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(240): View more from Maryland

I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.

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(408): View more from California

I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.

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