Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history

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  (650): I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history http://tfl.nu/ot0p
  Replies (19) Good night (1266) Bad night (2676)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"

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  (301): Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal" http://tfl.nu/5b46
  Replies (48) Good night (4048) Bad night (810)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.

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  (410): You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/0v77
  Replies (11) Good night (953) Bad night (2870)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.

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  (610): i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome. http://tfl.nu/xt3h
  Replies (8) Good night (2782) Bad night (900)
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  (805): View more from California

  I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.

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  (805): I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever. http://tfl.nu/1uws
  Replies (6) Good night (1225) Bad night (2552)
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  (925): View more from California

  I cannot believe I said bareback movement...

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  (925): I cannot believe I said bareback movement... http://tfl.nu/eax3
  Replies (6) Good night (1452) Bad night (866)
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  (626): View more from California

  It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.

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  (626): It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned. http://tfl.nu/eehp
  Replies (5) Good night (2059) Bad night (753)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.

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  (334): all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol. http://tfl.nu/9h8q
  Replies (13) Good night (1918) Bad night (708)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob

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  (740): no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob http://tfl.nu/6ivp
  Replies (5) Good night (2191) Bad night (714)
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  (516): View more from New York

  is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?

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  (516): is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is? http://tfl.nu/4m9k
  Replies (6) Good night (1254) Bad night (596)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.

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  (808): He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married. http://tfl.nu/414x
  Replies (18) Good night (979) Bad night (2370)
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  (818): View more from California

  The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.

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  (818): The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me. http://tfl.nu/w1nr
  Replies (18) Good night (6057) Bad night (612)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Stop whining I left you with whiskey

  (224): View more from Illinois

  YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.

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  (224): Stop whining I left you with whiskey (1-224): YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE. http://tfl.nu/439l
  Replies (6) Good night (2187) Bad night (801)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.

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  (512): Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery. http://tfl.nu/4491
  Replies (4) Good night (1291) Bad night (749)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night

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  (314): Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night http://tfl.nu/13rl
  Replies (8) Good night (976) Bad night (334)

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