Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you http://tfl.nu/5ryg
  Replies (23) Good night (1035) Bad night (2160)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (951): I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right? http://tfl.nu/4fsw
  Replies (22) Good night (2578) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success. http://tfl.nu/9rt5
  Replies (11) Good night (6867) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good? http://tfl.nu/cjn1
  Replies (4) Good night (4267) Bad night (963)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely. http://tfl.nu/77c9
  Replies (58) Good night (8508) Bad night (2271)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night... http://tfl.nu/rl66
  Replies (9) Good night (3437) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  You make shower sex sound like waterboarding

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): You make shower sex sound like waterboarding http://tfl.nu/cy83
  Replies (28) Good night (3590) Bad night (2730)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized' http://tfl.nu/3ov3
  Replies (14) Good night (4510) Bad night (1355)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text. http://tfl.nu/g6ne
  Replies (4) Good night (721) Bad night (2299)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Guess what happened to me today at work?

  (1-734): View more from Michigan

  I have chlamydia. What happened.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): Guess what happened to me today at work? (1-734): I have chlamydia. What happened. (734): Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second. http://tfl.nu/rf53
  Replies (11) Good night (2766) Bad night (1420)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him. http://tfl.nu/ojms
  Replies (0) Good night (958) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now. http://tfl.nu/bdx8
  Replies (7) Good night (1705) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge http://tfl.nu/undc
  Replies (8) Good night (1396) Bad night (793)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?" http://tfl.nu/mr60
  Replies (8) Good night (701) Bad night (339)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices. http://tfl.nu/eayv
  Replies (2) Good night (688) Bad night (341)

Randomize