I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.