can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
