I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
ugly people sure do ruin things
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
